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11.30.2009

Inane Statistics

I've been thinking about how inane the phrase, "I don't want to be just another statistic," is. I mean, you are always part of the statistic. For example, the statistic that relates the chance of 2nd marriages involving children from a previous relationship is highest in the first 2 years of remarriage... I made it past 2 years but that just means that I'll be in the part of the data set that either divorces in the first 5 years or after the first 10 years or stays married til death do us part. I'm still a statistic.

Inanity.

I know, weird post for such a long hiatus but I have a shit ton on my plate right now and I don't feel like sharing. So deal. :p

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11.07.2009

More of the Best Google Search Terms...

As I am successfully putting off writing for another 15 or so minutes, here is the second installment of the most recent search terms that led people to my blog (since the last listing). Some are funny, some are weird, some are bizarre, and some are totally awesome. Each search phrase is linked to its landing page, in case you are curious to how some of these searches could have possibly brought people here. FYI, the list is in no particular order and I did not edit out any of the grammatical and/or spelling errors, so what you see is what they searched.

  • "most hypocritical bastards ever" brings you here
  • "these are the times that try your soul, because deciding between the interests of your dear ones and the demands of your libido" Which I thought was awesome until I went to the landing page for this particular phrase.
  • "sexy political women" and related term, "sexy political bitches" Damn right! (Landing page)
  • "'insomnia' suck blogspot" brings you here. The odd use of quotation marks are the best part.
  • "no special rights for christians" brings you here. Damn right!!
  • "40 year old sexpots"
  • "academic dreams" goes here.
  • "advantage husband old" from a searcher in Malaysia.
  • "african fucking girls pictures" - I have no idea why this would bring someone to my homepage, but it did...
  • "because i am smarter than you and i'm going" Ha!
  • "dreaming of holding a conversationg" goes here. And I'm glad I'm not the only one.
  • "gendered non-traditionally"
  • "i'm just smarter than everybody else" Damn right, I am.
  • "people who can't speel" I shit you not.
  • "sex pot kings" So are they the kinds of pot and sex or sexpot kings?
  • "my boyfriend taught me and how to pee standing" which is awesomely kinky, especially if you tack on "...over his face" to the end of it. (landing page)
  • My absolute favorite, and possible new entry in the DSM-V, "i'm smarter than you personality disorder"

And the top searched terms people used to find my blog are:

  1. Some form of "gospel singer Mark Lowry gay" (which sucks cause the entry on Lowry was just a copy/paste of the article and nothing I wrote)
  2. "funny astrology" or "funny horoscope" (how boring)
  3. Some form of "political pickup lines"
  4. "70's tennis player costume" (This one was actually number one for the month of October)
  5. Ironically, "search terms that led to my blog" is garnering quite a bit of traffic since my last search terms blog

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11.05.2009

Doctors and Dentists and Deadlines, Oh My!

So, I have a shit ton o' work to do but I'm taking a break to tell you that I love my doctor. My Primary Care Physician is a super-religious man who doesn't believe in evolution and always cracks at least 5 jokes referencing the age difference between me and hubbie (he's our family doc so he also loves to tease my stepkids by asking about their "new sister" when they go in with their dad...). He also blames everything that ails me on my vegetarianism (or being married to an "old guy"). Some of his jokes are tolerable because they give me a chance to come up with some snarky comeback, displaying my infallible wit (Ha!), and he stares at my boobs a lot (which is funnier than his jokes).

But I can overlook all of his misdiagnoses and pseudo-comedy for the fact that, although his patients typically describe his script writing as "stingy" (to say the least), he never holds out on me when it comes to the good meds. I don't know if it's because I'm so witty or so titty, but I always get the good shit without having to ask. Hell, maybe it's cause I don't ask for it. Whatever. All I know is I had an appointment today to get him to look at my face again (I've had a crazy rash since June, which he has misdiagnosed twice now, bastard) and I walked out of his office with antibiotics (for my impetigo, the latest diagnosis, and I believe the correct one), a hand full of Soma samples (and not like 4 but like 24), and a script for 60 Lortab. Granted, in addition to the Impetigo mess on my face (not the impetigo that has crazy pus-filled blisters, by the way, but the strep strain one, which still looks like shit though not as leprous as the staph one...but I digress), I also mentioned the immense pain caused by throwing my back out last week. It has gotten better than it was (think unrelenting sharp pain when you move and when you're completely still), and I mentioned that it isn't as bad this week, but, like I said, he throws the good shit at me. Maybe he feels sorry for me because he thinks it must suck to have caught "being old and decrepit" from my hubbie (which explains all aches and pains, apparently).

Anyway, just thought I'd brag about my awesome legal stash of drugs. I also went to the dentist to get a replacement crown (my permanent crown, done by a different DDS, recently shattered) and they pulled some strings (aka forged some documents, I think) to get it covered by my insurance (fucking enough with the preexisting condition clauses already). Saved me $800. Today was a good healthcare day, thanks to the health care providers and not the insurance fuckwads, of course.

Oh yeah, and shame on you, Maine. I cried when I heard about your vote to deny legal marriage rights to same-sex couples, even though this basic civil right had already been granted by your state legislators. And I never fucking cry. Just think, if they had let the states vote on slavery and racial equality laws, we'd still have slaves in the South... This is why equality legislation needs to be enacted at the federal level. There are too many small-minded, religious fucks who are stuck in their hateful ways to ever move past this unfair, yet still legal, discrimination present in our state law books.

And, kudos for trying, Washington State, but "separate but equal" is not equal. I mean, personally, if I had fallen for a lady, marriage wouldn't have been a big deal for me. Let the church keep their ancient rites. The institution of marriage is an archaic practice based on religious beliefs anyway. I only got married for the tax breaks (and the life insurance). To me, love doesn't need the constraints of ancient tradition to thrive (monogamy isn't natural, but that's an entirely different blog). Civil unions are alright with me and my hypothetical lady love. I would just want the same legal rights that the privileged heterosexuals get when they get hitched. But, if you are going to do this "separate but equal" crap and turn marriage into this holy grail that cannot be sullied by us dirty homos, then you have made it into what it is. Civil unions for everyone (gay or straight) and let the church perform their marriage ceremonies as a separate entity OR legal marriage for everyone. Love is love is love is love and no one can govern that, no matter how hard you try.

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